Ode to Headless Women

Ode to Headless Women

Updated: Apr 19

by J.S. Mueller

Art by Micah Chaim Thomas, @micah_chaim

I’m quite in love with my Jane Doe

Though she has no head. How is that so?

I’m not really sure I know.

But no, my lover is not dead.

She’s right as rain, just lacks a head.

Jane has lots to recommend her:

Having no ears, I can’t offend her.

I can prattle on for hours or days

About sports or guns or Chevrolets,

And my love just sits. Not having ears,

I need not fear boring her to tears

(An added blessing, since she has no eyes—

Don’t you despise when a woman cries?)

She could be a genius, but you’ll never know it,

Without a mouth she can’t well show it—

Another plus, you must agree.

Do you not envy lucky me?

No shouting, sighing, fretting, crying,

No glaring, staring, squinting, spying.

I am not nagged, wheedled or cajoled,

Criticized, goaded or controlled.

But from her neck down to the floor

My Jane is all I could ask for.

I stroke her hair, her lips I taste—

They’re both down there below her waist.

She lacks a head, but what’s the fuss,

Since I have one for each of us?

So now you know--can plainly see--

Why Jane’s the perfect mate for me.

About J.S. Mueller

J.S. Mueller--a pen name--is a transplant to Kentucky who writes stories about broken people, unusual relationships and redemption. And the occasional satirical ode.



Art kindly provided by Micah Chaim Thomas. Check out more of his art on Redbubble here. Follow him on Twitter here!

#ode #humor #satire


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