The Angry Noodle Society

The Angry Noodle Society

by Bryanna Gary


Everyone tried to get me off Twitter. It failed. NICE TRY, FUCKERS (and by "fuckers," I mean close friends and family who care about my mental health and don't want to see me obsessing over social media in any way, shape, or form, which is entirely understandable and I do not fault them in any way for looking out for me even if my addiction to the computer prevents me from actually heeding their advice. Yeah.).


I found that Twitter helps me let out my raaaage. Despite all my posturing, I haven't actually physically been to a protest yet, so donating, signing petitions, spreading the word, etc, etc, is all I've got to let off steam until I can. It has lost me a lot of cool people on Twitter, and while it might sound silly to say that I had friends there when I've never actually met them, I did genuinely like them and appreciate their company.


However, abandoning my original "apolitical social media" policy has benefited me in several ways:

  1. It has helped me clean out my following/follower list of everyone with shitty takes, especially those with large followings and/or those whose writing I supported without knowing how bad their takes were.

  2. It has helped me find cool people who I don't have to worry about in the back of my mind ("Do they secretly support Trump?" "Are they total bootlickers?" "Are they TERFS, homophobes, racists, ableists?").

  3. It's weirdly freeing to make my political position clear. I don't have to quietly listen to peoples' shit takes about "I don't support property damage," or "Black people make up 13% of the population but commit 50% of crime," or "Trans women aren't women." I can block, unfollow, call it out, and it feels great.

  4. Finally, we started the Angry Noodle Society!

What is The Angry Noodle Society?

Simply put, if you are a leftist, you are probably an Angry Noodle. Politics is difficult and annoying, but in talking about being an Angry Noodle, I mean that all of these probably apply to you (not just disliking Trump and the GOP! That's too easy!):

  1. You like saying ACAB. A lot.

  2. You support Black Lives Matter.

  3. You support the LGBTQ community. All of it.

  4. You want to see ICE abolished.

  5. You want to take back the means of production, weeee!

  6. You fully support the protests and don't give a flying fuck about property damage.

  7. You understand that racism is a tool of the ruling class that allows them to continue exploiting the working class, which vastly outnumbers them and would otherwise fuck their day up like they deserve.

  8. You think quoting MLK to say "Property damage is bad, mrrrrr!" is stupid and a complete whitewashing of MLK's views. You did more to learn about him and the Civil Rights Movement as a whole than listen to his "I Have a Dream" speech in high school.

  9. You are not a fan of centrists and/or moderate liberals. You know that their fence-sitting, especially now, hurts far more than it helps.

  10. You don't give a fuck about Confederate statues or the Confederate flag. You've probably wiped your ass with that flag once or twice and/or celebrated the recent toppling of the statues.

  11. You are not a fan of showing feel-good images/videos of cops kneeling with or hugging protestors because you know that shit's propaganda and we need to knock it off, STAT.

  12. You don't care for celebrities and their performative "wokeness" because you know that at the end of the day they're using hundred dollar bills to wipe their tears and as a part of the ruling class, they benefit from racial tension too no matter their race.

  13. You are hyperaware of the companies you support and live in a state of constant guilt because you know that our existence in a capitalist society means that nearly all of them are trash and there's nothing we can do about it.

  14. You don't like the DNC or the RNC, not because you're a centrist, but because you know that neither of them are anywhere near left-wing enough and that one is just more blatant about their shittiness than the other.

  15. You've probably argued with or been condescended to by a boomer who thinks they're "woke" at some point. They are not woke.

  16. You understand that, while Trump is a piece of shit, voting him out will not magically end all of this country's problems and that they are far more deep-seated and longstanding than that.

  17. You absolutely despise anyone who says All Lives Matter because you know they're full of shit and wouldn't be saying it at a time like this in the first place if they really meant it.

  18. You're probably sad and frustrated all the time. While the protests have given you some measure of hope, you can't help but think that things look pretty bleak and you aren't sure that real change will ever possible. But you're willing to try anyway and are doing what you can.

  19. You do not have to like noodles. Somewhat ironic, I know.

All are welcome to the Angry Noodle Society (shoutout to Twitter buddy Jacqui for transforming it into a full on society, weee!). And if my previous post didn't make it clear enough, this one definitely should: while we are still a journal for all kinds of writing (satire, rants, odes, poetry, music, short stories, worldbuilding, etc), we do have a leftist leaning. If any recent submitters are not comfortable with anything I've said in this post or my previous few "ranty" posts, it might be a good idea to withdraw your submission and let us know now before I buckle down for the week and start reading them.


That's all for now! Mwah!


-Bree/Brioche


#rant #angrynoodlesociety #blm #announcement

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